Ripped or Ruined: How Unrealistic Fitness Standards are Hurting Young Men

By Lukas O.

We’ve all seen them before. Those seemingly perfect fitness influencer physiques that inspire awe, wonder… and insecurity? Just about every young man I know wishes that he could look like some of those fitness influencers, such as Alex Eubank or Sam Sulek. Some of my classmates model their entire training regimen in the gym off of their favorite influencers, hoping to achieve a body that looks like theirs. Adding fuel to the fire, many of these fitness influencers profit from the insecurities of their followers by selling training plans and supplements that they claim will allow people to look like them.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with the quest for an attractive body, the addition of social media to our society has caused young people to be bombarded with images of the “perfect” man or woman, with the unattainable goal of perfection leading many to feel insecure and wonder why they don’t look the way that they think they should. Social media’s portrayal of hyper-masculinity can lead to anxiety for men who think that they don’t meet the criteria of society’s masculinity because it has accentuated the idea that masculinity is solely derived from physical appearance. This pressure to be hyper-masculine can create communities where men are discouraged from showing certain emotions such as fear, further contributing to this omnipresent anxiety.

Many people simply don’t realize or don’t think about the fact that many of the images posted online are highly curated to distort reality (maybe they have just finished a workout and are posing in the best lighting possible). Men can learn from the conversations about female body image, especially the value of focusing on intrinsic motivation instead of focusing on external factors. How other people view the way we look determines a lot of our choices about our appearance, but by distancing ourselves from the opinions of others and not comparing ourselves to them, we can learn to “do it for ourselves,” which will ultimately decrease anxiety and the fear of being inadequate. As Teddy Roosevelt often said, “comparison is the thief of joy.”

Part of the difficulty with this issue is that the way men’s bodies look is integral to their masculinity. While again there is nothing wrong with becoming stronger and getting in better shape, this endless quest can affect self-confidence. To help combat this issue and bring attention to men’s mental health, I started the Young Men’s Mental Health Club at my high school to raise awareness about these topics and provide a space for young men to come together and discuss related topics.

We recently held a meeting where the topic of social media use and potential alternatives were brought up, and we came to the conclusion that social media feeds on the human desire for connection with others, so we all decided that, when possible, we should seek comfort in the form of spending time with others instead of using social media. We hope to facilitate this tangible social interaction by organizing activities such as a sledding competition during the winter to give people the opportunity to bond outdoors instead of getting sucked into our phones, and even a fishing competition in the spring to encourage us to spend more time in the nice weather.

These sorts of activities will facilitate friendly competition, which is important for a healthy sense of masculinity, and hopefully allow us to realize that spending time with friends and getting to know new people is more enjoyable than doom scrolling on social media. If you’re someone who doesn't have access to a men’s group or don’t want to go completely offline, the simplest thing to do is to just keep in mind that what people post on social media is a snapshot of when they look the best and take everything you see online with a huge grain of salt.

About the author:

Lukas is a 16-year old teen living in New York City. He has one older brother, and currently attends boarding school in New Hampshire. Some of his hobbies are reading and writing.